Action VS chick flicks

Crazy, stupid, love….

Just like the movie it’s exactly how life is isn’t it?

Ragnar prefers the action and refers to everything else as a chick flick, like so many of the boys out there say.

My argument is this… Those love stories those romcoms, from The Notebook to Twilight to Dirty Dancing we all love a feel good, happily ever after movie.

Action is yes the rough, cage fighting sometimes totally ridiculous far fetched skop skit en donner, a man needs. Us girls need it too sometimes, but in reality it is all about the love. Boy meets girl, they fall in love, the mush mash between after the obvious crush the shyness and and and, until they finally realise they meant to be. Yes I get it, it doesn’t happen all the time or that vampires don’t actually exist and all that, but there are people out there who it actually has happened to, chance, fate, kindred spirits, twin flames, and yes there are ones who believe vampires and that werewolves do exist. The point is no matter what there is always a story of love and the adventure they went on to get there.

So Ragnar says action all the way, and of course I asked why.

Why action?
Why don’t you like romcoms and love?

He replies, because it’s interesting, there is always something going on and it’s an adventure. Romcoms are fairy-tales and a false sense of what actual love is.

Well that got me thinking…. Mmmmm maybe that’s the problem, ok not a problem that’s too harsh, maybe that’s the reason men will be men, why affairs happen or they constantly on the move. Life needs to be exciting like the action movies they watch, otherwise it’s dull and boring.

While us girls sit and giggle and cry over a silly love story they are rolling their eyes and completely bored by what they been forced to watch.

We been living in a fairy-tale since we first heard our fairy-tale story. When you hear my name the first thing you think of is Cinderella.

Yes maybe it seems far fetched but it brings warmth to our hearts, just when we give up or feeling down, nothing like a Romcom to make you feel better.

OK I know I’m generalizing here, because not all men and women are like this. Honestly show me a girl who doesn’t want to be swept off her feet and have her happily ever after and do not tell me men are not romantic enough to go that extra mile to sweep her off her feet and declare his undying love.

Life has changed us, our hearts have been altered and we still get brutally hurt when it comes to love. However, how can you feel the hurt of you never love? What gives us that spring in our step and ridiculous smile on our faces?

Money can buy the world but it cannot buy love or emotion. That’s why you hear of rich men or women getting screwed over by a person who they believed loved them and they undeniably loved them back, again not all but most of the time.

You can’t fight it, you can’t even match it because it will hit you from a side you never saw coming and it happens to us all.

My theory is a man would be stupid not to watch a love romcom with his girlfriend or lover or wife because while watching it she is living the moment of that movie and imaging her love in the movie with her. Lol hopefully it’s with her boyfriend or husband or whatever and not imagining someone else, but you get the point.

I guess what I’m saying is don’t know those romcom boys, love makes the world go round and honestly it’s going to make her feel all happy and fuzzy inside for you and as much as you deny it you enjoy it too.

Keep loving my sweets

I love you

XXX

A Royal wedding

The Royal Betrothal… A fairy-tale

Regardless of the annoyance, you can’t dispute the fact that everyone is talking about the Royal Wedding. So, whether you are into it or not, whether you are a romantic or not, you have heard of it. Radio, social media, news, colleague’s family, friends etc. etc… You get my drift.

The point is no matter what, no matter how cold hearted or hard hearted you are, a wedding is a wedding, love is love and a Royal Wedding is a fairy-tale.

All girls want to feel like a princess and all boys want to feel like a prince and what day is more perfect, what occasion becomes all about you, where you’re put on a pedestal aka inauguration aka your ceremony where she is dressed like a princess and he is dressed as her prince, sitting at the main table everyone, the guests’ eyes on you aka the throne, King and Queen, sitting side by side. First dance, throwing bouquet, cutting cake whatever, it is all eyes on the couple. Family and friends fussing about, from the day of engagement to the day of I do… It’s based on a fairy-tale and it works.

We all want something to believe in, we all want to fall in love and we all want to feel like Royalty so why not let the British Royal family carry on with their traditions giving us the eternal feeling of love and being in love, royal style.

Of course, I would end this by saying it should never end there because you need to be, and live, and treat each other like the Kings and Queens that you are.

So, in true Royal Blue love and in honour of my grandfather who is a Phillips who was born and bred British style keep believing in those fairy-tales…

I love you

Xxx

To Mom’s out there and the spark of another tongue wagging post…

Mother’s Day…a day of celebration but also a situation that inspired an additional post.

So of course, what a blessed day to show the love and appreciation we have for our Moms. Yes, it should be everyday but come on we can all agree this one Sunday out of the year is extra special, you get to tell your mom things you never had a chance to because things get so busy, or you spoil her that little extra to show how much you love and appreciate so why not this one day. The cynics will tell you “it’s a money thing” or “it’s commercial” I say so what! Life is busy and we want to spoil our moms everyday but life just gets away from us and at least this day there is no excuse and above all they deserve it.

So, I have a mom and so blessed very much a part of my life everyday which I’m so grateful for… It’s no secret I am not only very attached to my mom and dad but also an only child so life without them is just not even considered. I moved back to JHB and one of the reasons is I want to spend my life with Ragnar with my folks, yes, they drive me nuts but they mine and I love them.

I’ve also been very lucky to have gained another mom and dad through Ragnar, his parents are just ridiculously awesome too and fell in love with them so quickly it feels like they been a part of my life forever.

So, Mother’s Day is Mother’s Day and such a beautiful day to honour our moms. I also want to say to the sons and daughters whose mommies are in heaven, well it inspires us to love and appreciate having our moms around. My heart goes out to you all.

So, this isn’t even what inspired me to write my blog tonight. Something sad, a topic close to my heart but also very apt that it came up today on Mother’s Day.

So here we go…

Suicide has reared its ugly head once again, every day we hear of another one, I guess the one I heard of recently which was a close friend of my dearest friend. His photo was one of pure joy and happiness but unless you going through it, you can never know ultimately what pushes them to that literal final breath. So, my dear friend has been very sad and of course he would be, I been trying to be the best friend I can be to check in with him, see how he is doing as a friend would do. Through the conversation wondering why someone does it is always a question our curious minds want to find out and through the convos my friend kept saying the same words over and over again… He left two children behind. I realised that this was the biggest issue he had regarding his friend’s death and rightfully so, but my issue was why did he do it. How bad were things for him to have done it and what torment was his poor soul going through at the time and for how long? And still I kept hearing about the kids and how could he do that to them… Which brings me to this blog.

So, this may set a few tongues of disapproval wagging and its ok, after all its my thoughts and feelings so it’s fair game.

Suicide is awful and been the person left behind is left with many scars and many angry thoughts, which you learn to accept and live with rather than forget and move on. Moving on is a breakthrough and a blessing. So, what bothered me was hearing how angry everyone is because this man left his kids behind, took his own life and what about the kids. For anyone to take their life is a decision so great that the thought and worry about anyone else is not even part of the equation. So, what are we living for… Our kids apparently. I don’t have kids, I wasn’t blessed to have them but that’s my own demons I live with daily. My question is what about his wife, the kid’s mom, or his parents have they not lost a husband and son. Are they not also a reason to keep living for…? That right there is the problem in this day and age. We all so close to pushing ourselves over the suicide edge but hang on each day for our kids. Whatever happened to staying alive because we love life, because of who we are and what we add to it. Yes, things are tough, life is cruel but have we really forgotten ourselves and loving ourselves and putting ourselves first in this life to make it worth living.

Too many times I have heard people are only hanging on for their kids… Really? So, that begs the question what am I living for?

Kids are beautiful and our creation and an extension of who we are, a little life we bring into this world who we love and treasure and will protect with our lives. I get it! I do and always said it’s a good thing I don’t have a child because I would over love him or her never let them out of my sight and kill anyone who hurts them.

But… What about the adults, the partner, lover, husband or wife you chose to have in your life, your parents who brought you into this world and gave you an upbringing to the best to their ability, everyone has forgotten them and it’s all about the kids now.

I’m just saying… Maybe if couples or people put each other first, like when they dated and got married and bring up their kids together as that unit that began the journey then maybe there would be less divorces or break ups or or or… The list is endless. And yes, I get that how would I know because I don’t have kids but I do know many of you going through this and the one thing that’s consistent is by putting the kids first they have forgotten about each other and to love each other; how to be a couple. I know it’s hard, I know times have changed, but has it changed so drastically that we forgot each other…

I’m just saying

Remember I love you and we are all only human.

XXX

Here a brick there a brick everywhere a brick…

Renovating renovations renovate bleh…

What a story oh my hat!

I mean don’t get me wrong change is as good as a holiday and all that but the headache of having to watch day by day is daunting. Yes I admit I’m the girl who wants to snap my fingers and poof all done, but that takes mula and a whole work force. No questions asked I admit I would be renovations-zilla lol.

The agree to disagree has popped up one too many times and living with a perfectionist doesn’t help. Add a father who actually has built houses and well, It’s better to step back and observe.

I have totally lost my mind, cried, screamed, shouted… I mean even I wanted to take a bucket of water and throw it over myself at some stage. So the decision to step back was made and to just watch.

Mmmmm

Easier said then done, how do you not get involved in ideas or in something you don’t like. I admit being told to imagine a brick here and tile there absolutely goes right over my head, I’m all about the finished product. So watching Ragnar break down walls, build walls etc etc has been so inspirational and couldn’t be more proud that I actually live with a man who actually knows how to use his hands.
By all means great job and wow it looks fantastic but treading very lightly not to give my 2 cents or assume I know which way the shower is facing… No no no. Rather then experience heart failure and anxiety I just choose to step away.

So we into our second week and each day a brick closer to our new home. I mean it really can only end up looking fantastic and add me to the mix and inevitably will be a home…. Spogter.

Xxx

Advise to divorced parentals

I think this is the second time I’m posting about the issue I have with parents using kids to hurt each other. Get divorced and walk away but let it stay between the two of you just like when you decided to get married. Difference is there is a child added to the mix who wasn’t asked to be born and become part of the bitterness and hatred between the parents. Why should the child suffer? In the end parents you only hurting yourselves by involving your child and making it a part of the fight. They will grow up to be impossible and rebellious and they will resent you one day. A mother is a mother and a father a father, no matter the situation always remember to be that to a child you brought into the world. Not a product of your creation because you are too caught up in your own issues trying your utmost at destroying a person you once loved. It completely astounds me at just how actually cruel people are all to benefit their own egos. Grow up! Your kids have to and what example are you showing them.

Ode to a cow

This is a so true. Thank you my dear friend Shantelle Houston.

I drive 4 hours a day to work and back and the passing of cows along the way munching grass and just being cows  just makes it alot manageable and happier. 

 

Big City Life!

I never thought I would hear myself say it… I miss Joburg!

There I said it. The chaos, the madness, the hustle and the bustle. The thick layer of smog that hits you as you enter the city. Everything about it, and I of course, and true to form, had to realize it only because I moved away from it.

If you think you’re shaking your head join the club with my folks, my friends and most of all myself. For four years since moving back to Joburg from Cape Town, I have been moaning and groaning about how I hate Joburg and wished I’d never moved back and blah blah blah…

Well blah blah blah I miss it.

So last week I went to Joburg for work and to see my folks for Easter and let’s not forget my Chloé. Besides almost being in a head on collision, honestly don’t understand the nerve of drivers. We are all heading for a destination and by you taking chances you ain’t going to get there.

Anyway, after arriving I could could feel the energy of city people. Maybe because this one horse town living really makes you crave even Joburg which is fine because you made me appreciate the little things. Joburgers have a way about them, that madness and camaraderie spirit that shouts we’re in this together so may as well have fun doing it.

Even a visit to the butcher and the friendly faces of strangers, just a smile or a knowing look and even a thank you gesture while driving. As I have said over and over again it costs nothing to be decent and kind but again maybe my living location once again has shown me just how rude or just how decent your average crazy Joe can be.

Ah big city life… Try to get by! That’s the easy part because the people make it!

That other song… Take me back to the beach, where we were young and free… Yeah, no sure, but holiday only.

Thank you Joburg, once a city girl always a city girl and I love it!

XXX

To rent or not to rent? Landlord hell!

 

Tenants vs landlords…

It’s so funny how in the last couple blogs it’s been a bitch bitch moan moan story. Honestly I detest it and try keep away from the daily unfairness and total disregard for each other in a cruel world. Light and upbeat is what I prefer but I guess though as the story effected me then I have to write about it. Can’t always have sparkles and sun flowers even in my world.

So times are rough and buying houses are a lot harder then it used to be so rentals are a thriving business and a lot more home makers renting these days. All I can say is after the experience I had in the last 3 months wow I’m so glad my folks talked me into buying my own house which is in Joburg.

I’m in The Bay, it’s been 3 months, I know feels longer and the drama of dealing with landlords is beyond my comprehension and patience. I have completely lost my mind at the situation.

Yes I get that some tenants are a nightmare and the state they live in or leave a rental is shocking and just disgusting. However, or but, flip a thousand buts… How can every tenant be treated in a manner that is so… Trying to think of the perfect explanation here, I guess disappointed, victimized, sad, angry etc etc. I think you get the point.

I actually said to Ragnar tonight, I understand why it’s easier to be hard or bitter or just plain full of shit that at the drop of the hat you fly off the handle and everyone leaves you alone. It’s not a nice place to be, we all been there. Being nice and sweet and understanding grrrr is becoming a challenge each day.

We are quiet, no party’s, no pets, no kids, no anything that is fun, walking on egg shells is the way to go. We pay our rent on time, give or take a day. Lease says 25th and Lord help you if it falls on a Sunday and you only get paid the Monday 26th. Never mind the debit orders trying to come off because every debtor assumes you got paid. So if it’s not a couple hours delay in payment or your family come to visit, living 600km away to bring you your odds and ends for your new home that you need. You of course ask them to stay the night it’s good to see them and so grateful they brought your things. It just becomes an Issue. issues, issues, just issues the landlord brings to our attention which leaves us shocked and bewildered. Never mind the electric gate not working, hot water being lukewarm or the electricity keep tripping due to earth leakage. Like a deer trapped in headlights that’s what it feels like.

Is it not a place to call home for the duration of the lease? Do you not pay a rental fee to place your living possessions in a four walled place and try to make it your home. After a hard day’s work you want to be able to come home and relax and switch off from the day. We very much know it’s not our place, the fact that we can’t drill a hole in the wall or see the landlord everyday because there is always something to be checked on. That’s the other thing, lots of renovation going on with the other units around us. 7 days a week and it’s constant, isn’t that an invasion of peace and quietness. We have to be. So we know it’s not our home but we most certainly take care of it like it’s our home.

The previous landlord, which I already spoke about in previous blogs, the Cockroach infested place and wouldn’t even send someone to fix a blind. One day late in paying rent and you swear blind we trashed the place rock-star style, not a peace of crockery or cutlery left. Nope we actually left the place in a better condition then when we moved in. All because one day late in paying the rent, where admittedly I got confused with the dates, a lot was going on and really would have appreciated a friendly reminder. After the rudeness that followed even an apology would not have made me want to stay a moment longer. To this day she still hasn’t found a tenant, so. I admit I was glad to leave and found a quieter place which suited us perfectly. Mmmmm or so we thought, not even a month and every day another issue.

I’m just so fed up. Landlords always complaining about tenants but what about the other way around.

I wonder about the tenants who don’t pay rent and cannot be kicked out onto the streets or the tenants who trash the place leaving damage to such an extent it takes months to renovate.

I was a landlord once and it was terrible experience but it taught me a lesson on how not be a bad tenant.

I wonder why honest, hard working, good people get treated like they’re invading the home they have a right to be in because they pay and contractually can live there.

I know I really hate bitching, and to think this is now twice. Has society become so dishonest and untrustworthy everyone bares the brunt of it.

I wonder does my landlord come into my home while I’m at work, noseing about? Why is it OK for him to keep moving goal posts.

I will say one thing it’s not everywhere, which makes me wonder if it’s more of a small town thing and the unfriendly folk who reside in it.

Another day, another week, another month and the time keeps getting longer.

I’m just saying…lol

XXX

The lady doth protest… Oh indeed I do!!!

When the shit hits the fan the unexpected are considerate regarding your situation and the parties you thought would be understanding have proven not to be; and once again guide us down the road of trust. To trust or not to trust! Who to trust and who not to trust!

Recently I was left in a very unsettling situation, the company I had given all my time and hard work to, a year of giving of myself, and all I expected back was the security of having a job; especially in this day and age as well as a steady salary as we can never run away from responsibilities. I have no issues with this and am diligent when it comes to these things, let’s just say I always have and will always work my bum off as I know I have responsibilities.

To my shock and horror, and without going into too much detail, the company was flagged, salary not paid and by the second month I realised that I wasn’t going to get paid for another month, something that I just couldn’t have. Responsible mode kicked in to find a new job and I’m very grateful to have found one with a very reputable international global giant where my fears have been put to rest once again.

However this is not about the job that’s a glitch in our lives I guess we all have to go through and guess it pushes us in a direction of not taking things for granted. Trust me my dream of living on a deserted island, serving cocktails in my bikini all day long is still there in the back of my mind but money makes the world go round and in my world I need to live.

Moving on…

During this time I notified my debtors of my unfortunate situation and I must say their feedback and assistance was fantastic. Yes of course I got the one or two calls of threats and impending doom but after I casually and calmly explained my situation, a plan of action was put in place and all is well.

Now comes my disturbing WTF moment… This absolutely blows my mind. Houses and cars and assets we all agree belong to the banks until we are all paid up and when you work out what you owe its well into the millions but it’s workable and we pay our impending debt but it’s life and we have a home and a car and all is well.

Service providers of life and health insurance have to be the most inconsiderate persons I have come across. Even the good folk who insure my car gave me a grace period. But not the life and health.

Now think about this… Stress according to statistics is the number one killer right? A situation like mine presents itself and stress level goes out of wack, you can’t see a doctor to prescribe meds to keep your heart rate in check because you miss one payment and your policy is cancelled, trust me you can call and beg and plead they don’t care. Rather sell your soul to Satan himself because that’s what you in for when dealing with these callus self centered egotistical bottom feeders. I’m sure even bottom feeders have more integrity then this group. I have no name to call them or reference I can give because they’re lower then low.

So you have a heart attack because you can’t go to the doc, no money to pay cash either, hospitals won’t take you because you need to be pre-booked or given medical aid approval before they look at you. Ok government hospitals are there and I have no issues there as they are fantastic, probably better then the private hospitals, but the time you wait for a doc to see you or admit you is the issue.

It’s sad really but this is reality, so for all intents of purpose you get really ill and need more time off before you work again or you die. And if that’s the case of being ill well I think at that point death is a blessing… Again very very sad.

Then your life policy kicks in, they help with dreaded decease or should anything happen with work they’re supposed to take care of you. That’s laughable because I think out of everyone I got the worst service from them.

Then you got to think now this was two months of my life. Two months, that’s all;  but let’s rather penalise me and punish me for two months when for months and years have had the debit order go off with no hassle and no arguments….

Get my point…

I’m think I’m just fed up of making these service providers out there rich and let’s face it it’s all a pyramid scheme and have we not learnt from this?

Gosh I could go deeper and deeper into this, into my conspiracy theory on this topic but let’s leave this right here where it is.

Food for thought? Not unless they taking that out your mouth too…

I’m just saying

XXX