The Chloé Talk 101

I had an epiphany the other night, so crazy it left Ragnar and I in stiches. Me in hysterics and Ragnar wondering once again if I had lost the plot. I can still see his face lost in translation watching me waffle on about Chloé and Pigeons.

So as awesome, lovable and good natured Miss Chloé is, obedience is her fail point and trying to discipline her is like working on a project day in and out, blood sweat and tears only to find out at deadline moment the client decided on a different direction. All that time and energy and in the end completely futile… honesty was the best way to describe it.

Chloé is spoilt and, yes as mentioned through my blogs, has taken the role of my child, my only child as I don’t have kids of my own. I’m the parent of a four-legged fluff ball, who gets away with murder and rules the house… Ragnar and Miss Chloé have finally come to a mutual respect for each other, though showing who’s boss is still a game they play. It just adds to the comedy in our lives.

So back to this particular night which was last week, sick with flu which has been doing its rounds at the office and at dying point. I don’t usually visit the doc unless its DEFCON 1, I also don’t take tablets for every little thing. This day was DEFCON 1 and meds were demanded.

I now know why I had to take the meds before bedtime , half an hour to be exact and feeling so sorry for myself I was not waiting another second and took the tablet around 5.

It then dawned upon me that Chloé is not disobedient or naughty, I really think she doesn’t understand human talk. The pigeons on our roof keep her well entertained and the only time she sits up right and silent on best behavior wining and moaning in reply back to the pigeons… call me crazy but to get Chloé to sit, then sit still, for half an hour is not even worth the effort. 5am the pigeons arrive and it’s a whole day affair of communicating. Even the Kiewiet in the park protecting its eggs when it senses danger near them, is the moment Chloé gets her lazy bum up, with such determination and vigour she rearranges the house on exit to investigate, almost repositioning the sliding door with security gate onto the boundary precast wall. It’s insane and not very humorous when a trip to the bathroom or drink of water ends up with bumps and bruises and a mouthful of profanities which only a bumped baby toe can produce.

It’s an occurrence we experience every night, that we now tuned in with Kiwiet bird so already in preparation to calm the madness down. Unfortunately, the pigeons are the worst and still cannot predict or get use to this 15kg border collie lunging from her bed in one quick swift jump up onto our beds, at full force and worst of all not just landing on the bed but always and without fail landing solidly on our legs or the painful nether regions. She doesn’t move until her chat with pigeons are done and only then jumps back into her bed and falls back into her doggy dream sleep like nothing’s happened. This can go on 3 to 4 times a night. My only sanity is believing this abrupt disturbance at random times is her being guard dog and bravely protecting us against the danger and carnage occurring on our thatch roof. The pigeon nightly shuffle. However, I have noticed that planes on the Red Eye route encourage the same chaotic reaction.

The dogs can bark, gates and or doors slam and she won’t move an inch. Let that Kiewiet bird run around screeching in alertness and Chloé takes notice.

Don’t even get me started when it’s thunder storms and lightning, there is absolutely no sleep. Chloé goes mental and have to ensure she doesn’t dash outside because she runs around the pool barking at the sky. Some music or TV and a whole lot of comforting Chloé is all we can do to keep her calm.

I know that you thinking are you mad in allowing it but like I said she is my child and admittedly takes huge advantage as it’s the only time Chloé lets you hold her… unless you are Ragnar who gets all the love and attention but that’s another story.

Back to the pigeons and Kiewiet birds and by now we realise these meds are definitely to blame for these insane thoughts with me trying to convince Ragnar, speaking pigeon just might get her attention to listen to us… and just maybe finally teach her obedience. lol

I’m just saying…


Dust If You Must!

This is a poem I saw on LinkedIn and couldn’t believe the effect it had on me. 

How we spend our time creating this perfect picture of perception, missing out on life. 

I know those who would easily spend a weekend spring cleaning top too bottom, and they call that fun, they call that OCD.

Call it what you want and no judgment at all, I think I’m just grateful that little speck of dust, isn’t going to be my reason for missing a spec of life… Very grateful indeed, 

I’m just saying 

My Jet Setting Life of a Cargo Travel Agent…

These flights to Durban are so quick I mean 8:10 am board and arrive 50 min later. Short, sweet and to the point. A quick in and out or maybe all in a day’s work.

I was saying yesterday how crazy and even though I love the work I do, being a cargo travel agent is no fair if I can’t ship myself around the world.

It’s not ok that the long-stemmed glassware or crystal embossed vase gets to experience the life of Czech Republic while nursing an Absinthe hangover from the previous night’s party.

Or the Raw Silk Scarves bustling with the who’s who of the fashion world in Milan, roaming the city of love and amore…

My heart yearns to experience these worldly adventures.

So, in the meantime I will keep planning those lazy days on the beach sipping cocktails, or skipping down Abbey Road. A tear of appreciation at Jim Morrison’s tomb stone in Paris.

Wherever or whatever I will keep moving forward and love every second of my short trips to Durban or Cape Town.  Then again, I could settle into a Container and Export myself to wherever our resources are needed and takes me; desperate times called for desperate measures… Lol

You never know because that road less travelled never made my book shelf so I will keep on the road ‘till I’m worn out…

I’m just saying


The Persuit Of Happiness

Watching the movie “The Pursuit Of Happiness”. You know the one with Will Smith as Chris Gardner, alongside Jaden Smith as Christopher Gardner, his son both on and off screen. The one movie I have to admit where they both played an outstanding role together.

“The Pursuit Of Happiness”, hit our screens in 2006. I heard all the hype but it was only after I watched an episode of Oprah where Chris Gardner himself was a guest, enticed me to watch it. So tonight, as I watched this movie, and having seen it before, was very much still effected by the story. I remember very well that intensity of humbleness and gratefulness the first time I watched, and how nothing should be taken for granted…

So 12 years later, while flicking through the channels saw the name and flurry of mixed emotions took over. Ragnar hadn’t seen it so without a doubt knowing it’s effect I knew that we had to watch it. Once again without a doubt, this profound story had me as it did the first-time round, touching not only my heart but also reaching down, pulling from the depths of my soul. The intensity 1,000 times more than I ever felt.

That overwhelming thought of how this man could wake up each day, though when you watch you notice how little sleep he actually gets. How he starts and ends each day filled with motivation and the will to endure every day with insane determination to survive. For him or for his son, or for both of them… His survival mode dictated his every thought and every move and always with good intentions and honest heart, even at the worst of worst times.

If you haven’t seen this movie, I would urge you to immediately. Yes, it will pull on those heart strings, and hit you hard with a reality check. Go watch it.

So in a nutshell here is brief overview, though I know my summary of this movie will not do it any justice.

It’s a real-life tell all story, of a man Chris Gardner, who having lost everything and I mean everything. With the undying love for his son after his wife left, through determination, builds himself up by doing an internship as a stock broker for 6 months without earning 1 cent. That’s the pre-happy part of the movie, because before he got to that decision of being an intern and through those 6 months, it was gut wrenching hard.

While watching it you feel your heart reaching out in agony because like I said no one can endure that much… Yet he did because he had perseverance, Vision, determination and gumption.

I look at Ragnar, tears streaming down my face and say “makes you feel sick at how we complain about our lives, doesn’t it?”, of course he agrees, after watching such a movie.

We do, don’t we? I mean every little thing, just seems to bring on an emotion of unhappiness or irritation. Or we feel unsatisfied and disillusioned and expectations so high, even the things that once made us smile or appreciate, we simply oversee it and miss those little gifts.

I honestly don’t blame us feeling this way, not completely. I’m also not saying it’s ok to feel like this. I’m just saying, we unfortunately are living through dark times. Like that single brightly coloured flower growing out of the concrete jungle pavement. You can’t miss it, it’s there, in all its colourful abundance so why are we missing our little abundant moments, filled with colours that help us through our grey clouded minds?

… because we are pushing at full steam ahead and not stopping to take note. Moving too quickly to notice the little things in life.

Something to be said about Chris Gardner. His rock bottom hit rock bottom over and over and over again. He still showed positiveness, lived it and breathed it and so much so you can’t help feeling overwhelmed and exhausted for him. Not once did he show anyone how defeated he was almost feeling and not once did he complain or blame anyone for where he was in his life. In actual fact if you think about it, would he have been driven to be a stock broker, if he wasn’t in that desperate place of his life. The constant perseverance of taking every opportunity to convince Jay Twistle played by Brian Howe, the man driving the red sports car who was the man behind the motivation to become a stock broker. He just wanted that Interview, to show Jay Twistle never judge a book by its cover.

You see not only was Chris Gardner, motivated and a positive force to be reckoned with but was blessed with an above average IQ, which he knew but again very humble about it. Not only first in his classes at school but in everything he took part in or put his mind to. It was the Rubik’s Cube and ride in the taxi with Jay Twistle that convinced Twistle he was worth interviewing for that internship, to earn that type of money to drive his own red sports car.

Obviously it wasn’t about the sports car but he knew when he owned one it would mean he was set on his life and money would not be an issue.

Money has become our motivation and that’s not a good or bad thing. Generally bad, because money, whether we agree or not, is evil and motivates the wrong people to want money in the wrong way. However, it’s also good because we can use it to motivate us in a good way, to work hard, to persevere and to strive at being the best we can be.

It’s all we want in the end is to be the best we can be… We just have to find the good behind the evil. The perseverance, motivation and strength behind the judgement, criticism and negativity we face everyday.

Find that strength and nothing can stand in your way.

Chris Gardner


Not my monkey not my circus!

They say it’s essential to keep toxic people out of your life especially if you are trying to live in peace and serenity.

If they make you unhappy or knowing that being in their company is going to cause you distress, then walk away.

Those constant discussions, and disagreements, that knowing of the inevitable ending of a failed resolution. It goes on and on like a stuck record at a stoner party, you can hear the constant note play over and over again but to listless to move it on. Not that I personally experienced a stoner party, but pretty much can visualize a 70s-party scene, way before my partying time.

It doesn’t matter who these people in your life are, the realization of not getting anywhere in resolving issues, has to force a decision in avoidance all together or keep going back in the hope of a different outcome… Really? I mean I amaze myself at how many times I can go down the same road, knowing full well it won’t turn out well, yet getting so upset at the outcome due to the ridiculous expectations I set.

Totally my fault of course, I take full responsibility due to my constant faith in hoping for a different outcome.

So, after the umpteenth time of frustration and tears and surprise nor the outcome I anticipated, enough was enough. Time for withdrawing myself from the situation and hurt.

So, after my final brush of tears from my already drenched cheeks… Wish it was that easy, decided I needed to pull away and break those bonds. Then with more frustration realised I had no idea how I was going to achieve this. I sat there for what felt like an eternity but was really only 5 Min, in complete silence and disbelief, that for the first time ever I had absolutely no idea what to do. Poor Ragnar with concern on his face, due to the too quiet moment I found myself in, probably thought I was heading for a complete meltdown as I just sat staring into space.

“I have no idea how to pullback” I mumble. The look of instant relief across Ragnar’s face that my possible melt down was just me having a quiet thought… Lol kak funny as I write this, Ragnar needs a medal for days like this.

Honestly though, no clue how to even begin as the situation is of a delicate nature.

So up to now and couple hours later I have managed to avoided a possible crises conversation. I’m going to keep reminding myself that taking one day at a time is the best I can do, because in this case, walking away completely, and due to circumstances, cannot be done right now. So, for now avoid discussions that I know will be chaotic, keep positive and always move forward.

All I’m saying… Lord please give me strength and Ragnar patience because we are all going to need it… Lol