I have honestly been through the good, the bad and the ugly.
Through this I have come to the same conclusion each time and that is, it’s not women who are complicated it’s the men that make us complicated. Women are naturally submissive in a relationship, loving their man instantly projects them into a space of loving and nurturing and its all to please the Mr in their lives. All a woman asks for and… OK well let me change that statement and say all “I” ask for… ‘me’, ‘Mrs’, ‘Cindy’, ‘love’, ‘babe’, ‘baby-girl’, ‘darling’, ‘sweetheart’, whoever I am to the person I am with. It’s all the same, I just want love, honesty, trust and respect. Mess with those four things and it would throw my emotions around and that’s when I would fall off balance. That’s when the complicated starts inside of me, the turmoil of feeling uneasy, unhappiness sets in, insecurity begins and the feeling of not been loved takes over…
All we want is to spend the rest of our life with this Man we have chosen, and yes things happen. Fights, work, families, life… it rears its nasty head and all hell breaks loose. But, that feeling that those four aspects bring to our hearts which creates the sense of safety and security can assist us in getting through any of these situations. Not having one of them, leads to endings rather than forever’s. Broken hearts are forever broken, they can never repair totheir full form, but rather look all stitched. Which in the end becomes a complicated heart, beating in a simple girl, which in the end makes her complicated.
I’m just saying…
It’s here… it’s finally here.
After pondering over and over again to start my Blog, it’s finally here. The thing is I do have so much to say, not opinions but actual life events that have got me to this point. The constant nagging or comment to start my book and get writing from everyone who knows me, just met me or going to meet me.
I have written that proverbial book, 6 years ago but never had it published. 678 pages of magic, sparkles, blood, sweat and tears but it was in sequence and much too boring and mundane for me. I live and love the randomness of my life and my thoughts and of course blogging was and is the answer.
So it’s here, finally… Through the love of my friends 1,400 km away from me, my parents relentless commitment to having me as their daughter, to my new found life that makes me feel like the Princess I’ve always maintained I am…. in a non bratty way of course… and the undying love and loyalty of my four legged fluff ball Princess Chloé, as well as my new found faith in God. It is here!
‘I’m just saying’ is born…let me entertain you, make you laugh, make you cry but above all let me inspire you…if I could get through the trials of life so can anyone and in the end it promises to make you stronger, happier and fall in love with your life, because let’s face it, we only have this one chance.
Welcome to my life, enjoy the ride and share the greatness that love is, in all of us.
Hugs and kisses
In the end doesn’t everyone just want to be happy and find their place in this world. If you like me, have hit a few pot holes along the way or I guess in my case craters then why not when the opportunity comes along grab it because you know this is it this is what you been waiting for and everyone deserves love, peace and happiness. People often ask me how I have gotten to where I am now, how I push forward in life and not just throw in the towel and give up. I can’t give up, Yes wanted to many times but with love and support from my family, friends and all if you. I have battled my way but came threw each time, a little more bruised or battered but a lot stronger. So yes it takes a little bit of madness and laughter and my undying gift of love to get through the cruelty that blinds the goodness in each of us. I think I have with out a doubt earned the right to say no more! To stop putting everyone ahead of myself and at long last put myself first. It’s only been me that helped myself through the hardest times, be aware those dark moments i don’t blame anyone wanting to keep their distance, so why not give myself the gift of its my time now.
Loosing someone that you loved without a doubt is the most difficult emotion to live through, especially suicide because you left with the guilt and the why’s and and and, even though there was nothing that could be done. It’s almost 4 years I’m done grieving, done feeling guilty and done with people to remind me of it. I made some pretty hectic choices over the last 3 years but it was adventures and some were very good and lots of fun and others were… Well that’s a strength i carry deep in my soul that will never allow for those sorts to come back again. Trials and tribulations of life it’s more common then you realize and it’s how you overcome them.
My last hurdle was finding God and that was the toughest, but one thing is for sure believe, pray and have faith he is listening and he has heard me and turned my life around.
I heard these lyrics to a song someone sent….
“We danced and we cried and we laughed and had a really really really good time, take my hand let’s have a blast, remember this moment for the rest of our Lives”.
Make the best if it. Make the best of who you are. No one has the power to take anything from you except for yourself and that’s a sad injustice.
If you took the time to read this thank you… It’s written from the heart and with so much love.