The Chloé Talk 101

I had an epiphany the other night, so crazy it left Ragnar and I in stiches. Me in hysterics and Ragnar wondering once again if I had lost the plot. I can still see his face lost in translation watching me waffle on about Chloé and Pigeons.

So as awesome, lovable and good natured Miss Chloé is, obedience is her fail point and trying to discipline her is like working on a project day in and out, blood sweat and tears only to find out at deadline moment the client decided on a different direction. All that time and energy and in the end completely futile… honesty was the best way to describe it.

Chloé is spoilt and, yes as mentioned through my blogs, has taken the role of my child, my only child as I don’t have kids of my own. I’m the parent of a four-legged fluff ball, who gets away with murder and rules the house… Ragnar and Miss Chloé have finally come to a mutual respect for each other, though showing who’s boss is still a game they play. It just adds to the comedy in our lives.

So back to this particular night which was last week, sick with flu which has been doing its rounds at the office and at dying point. I don’t usually visit the doc unless its DEFCON 1, I also don’t take tablets for every little thing. This day was DEFCON 1 and meds were demanded.

I now know why I had to take the meds before bedtime , half an hour to be exact and feeling so sorry for myself I was not waiting another second and took the tablet around 5.

It then dawned upon me that Chloé is not disobedient or naughty, I really think she doesn’t understand human talk. The pigeons on our roof keep her well entertained and the only time she sits up right and silent on best behavior wining and moaning in reply back to the pigeons… call me crazy but to get Chloé to sit, then sit still, for half an hour is not even worth the effort. 5am the pigeons arrive and it’s a whole day affair of communicating. Even the Kiewiet in the park protecting its eggs when it senses danger near them, is the moment Chloé gets her lazy bum up, with such determination and vigour she rearranges the house on exit to investigate, almost repositioning the sliding door with security gate onto the boundary precast wall. It’s insane and not very humorous when a trip to the bathroom or drink of water ends up with bumps and bruises and a mouthful of profanities which only a bumped baby toe can produce.

It’s an occurrence we experience every night, that we now tuned in with Kiwiet bird so already in preparation to calm the madness down. Unfortunately, the pigeons are the worst and still cannot predict or get use to this 15kg border collie lunging from her bed in one quick swift jump up onto our beds, at full force and worst of all not just landing on the bed but always and without fail landing solidly on our legs or the painful nether regions. She doesn’t move until her chat with pigeons are done and only then jumps back into her bed and falls back into her doggy dream sleep like nothing’s happened. This can go on 3 to 4 times a night. My only sanity is believing this abrupt disturbance at random times is her being guard dog and bravely protecting us against the danger and carnage occurring on our thatch roof. The pigeon nightly shuffle. However, I have noticed that planes on the Red Eye route encourage the same chaotic reaction.

The dogs can bark, gates and or doors slam and she won’t move an inch. Let that Kiewiet bird run around screeching in alertness and Chloé takes notice.

Don’t even get me started when it’s thunder storms and lightning, there is absolutely no sleep. Chloé goes mental and have to ensure she doesn’t dash outside because she runs around the pool barking at the sky. Some music or TV and a whole lot of comforting Chloé is all we can do to keep her calm.

I know that you thinking are you mad in allowing it but like I said she is my child and admittedly takes huge advantage as it’s the only time Chloé lets you hold her… unless you are Ragnar who gets all the love and attention but that’s another story.

Back to the pigeons and Kiewiet birds and by now we realise these meds are definitely to blame for these insane thoughts with me trying to convince Ragnar, speaking pigeon just might get her attention to listen to us… and just maybe finally teach her obedience. lol

I’m just saying…

XXX

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