Psychedelic Circle in a Grey Square.

I was having a discussion with someone over the weekend and it dawned on me that the phrase Round Peg in Square Hole very much was my life.  I am without a doubt that Round Peg in a Square Hole of life and instead of fighting or arguing or being unhappy because of my non-conformance in society, it was rather easier to embrace it.  Instead of me seeing it as the Round Peg it would become my Psychedelic Circle in a Grey Square instead of Square Hole.

At the same time, I’m thinking how long does it take before my Psychedelic Circle begins to fade away and I end up getting caught among the Grey Squares?  Well then, I have to ask myself how long have I been this Psychedelic Circle and definitely my whole life.  So, the important realization now is to meet other Psychedelics and join together to enjoy the pathways of life we find ourselves on…

Not very easy because yes while I have met many Psychedelics, they are not very strong at heart, any little thing is taken personally and seeing this cruel world for what it is, is very hard to look through our eyes and see the wonders and the light of life and love of people.  I think I have proven I can do it, and always ask myself why?  What is the reason to constantly fight the fight in a world ruled by the Grey’s?  I guess my answer to that is having the way to look at life and say there is more, more adventures, more fun, more to experience, more to love and more to believe that there has to be more… because without it what is the point?

Everything in our life is surrounded by Grey’s, driving in our box cars, working and eating at our box desks, eating our boxed meals, living in boxed houses – yet the world is round, not boxed and definitely not flat.

I think Terry Pratchett had an amazing Psychedelic look at life and that’s why his books were funny and creative and always made the reader think more and want more of the Discworld and the Great A’Tuin.  Not to mention my fascination for Death and his horse Binky… deliciously morbid and fantastically hysterical that Death is a sympathetic Grim Reaper.

The sadness of all this… my greatest Psychedelic, who breathed fire into my soul and made every day that great adventure life has to offer, couldn’t and wouldn’t survive in the world of Grey’s.  That no matter how many Terry Pratchett books he read to get lost in the Discworld, no matter how he tried to fight that big fight, he could  no more and he just gave up.

The more i think about it, the more I realize it’s the Psychedelics that are deciding to exit life every day, the strain and stress of living in the Grey world has become harder and crueller and a the abundance of good hearts are diminishing at a rate of not worth fighting for anymore.

Just a morbid thought…

 

 

Blonde again and why not? Just a blah blah blah

So blonde is my natural colour, ok in all honesty who can actually say natural blonde unless you’re living in the Caribbean. So technically natural blondes are actually mouse brown and darker from the day you put that first colour on… It’s downhill from there because it becomes an addiction.

So lucky me I can change from short hair to Bob to shoulder length but in truth I love the pixie, short, so much I never get to shoulder length and just cut it off.

What I find funny is and this always happens… For example my ex husband met me short pixie cut blonde hair and when we began dating constantly nagged me to darken it and grow it. He hated short hair and most of all blonde… But that’s how he met me…

So I tried but honestly was more effort then fun, we split up and the day we divorced I treated myself to a chop chop and felt like me again. Later that day we met for our ritual drink and and when he saw me said how fantastic I looked and back to the Cindy he met and fell in love with… Go figure… Lol

The divorce was amicable so yeah nothing weird about having that weekly drink with your ex. I can sense the absolute confusion anyone reading this would think…

Another day another story.

So after 4 years mourning his death I pretty much kept to myself watching series and keeping to myself. My hair was short and jet black which suited my mood to a tee.

Enter my BF, Ragnar, 8 months later and totally happy and low and behold the attempts to get me to grow my hair and keep it dark lasted exactly 8 months as on my Birthday I went back to blonde and cut it short.  Well it was a shock for him and everyone else but in the end loved by everyone which kind of surprised me.

I love it, it’s me and keeping everyone in anticipation as to what’s next…

My current dilemma is creating the perfect shade of silver shampoo to keep the blonde blonde and not accidentally leaving on for too long that tones of violet or lilac prominently show… Lol at least I’m not dull.

I’m just saying

XXX

The Journey…

The Journey began feeling a little weary.

The cobble path we once walked, now bits and pieces

You reached out and took my hand

“will you run with me on the cobble path” you smile

“Yes” i smile and take your outstretched hand

Safe and Comfort i smile

The once fairy tale bridge we walked across so many times

All broken down and just rubble

You reached out to take my hand again

“will you jump across with me” you whisper

“Yes” i smile as i take his hand in mine

Confident and Warm

The end of our journey and the tears well up

The Majestic Mansion, our first date, our first moment

Dilapidated and wrecked into a haunting memory of what once was

You squeeze my hand tightly, you never let go

“will you have a picnic with me”  you look away, a tear down your cheek

“Yes” i whisper, my eyes misty

Love

Our journey through love has been difficult, but if we just cross that broken path, or jump over the torn down bridge or take what was once a memory and turn it into a new adventure a new memory.  Then we can skip along to whatever lies in our way.

You are home…

I love you

XXX