The Light Within

A world made so beautiful by mankind who love it can also be a world made so ugly, it opens the wounds we longingly close to make us feel the pain.  Even though we so desperately want it healed and closed forever.  A scar remains, which is a remembrance of that pain but that’s all it is, a scar a remembrance that we have the power to heal to make things so beautiful as it once was and only we carry the ability in ourselves to do so.  Don’t we all want to grow strong from our mistakes and not dwell in the pity party of our minds, walk away from the ridicule and blame that can only lead us into a continuous chaotic destruction of a nothing.  We can only be effected by what we hear and if we choose to hear it and accept it then we going to keep loosing hope in ourselves.  If we ignore it and brush it off then that alone is a positive step in a direction.

The intention of being happy and making each day something a little extra special is within ourselves.  It costs nothing to be kind to others, smile at strangers – even if they think you a little mad.  Which I have to say constantly live  through daily, but that’s me and I like to think I bring some element  of joy to someones life even if they laugh about it years later… lol.  Treat your fellow mankind with love and respect.  Treat animals with love and kindness because they are the eternal at showering us with love and affection no mater the situation.  Treat others as we would like to be treated back and see what happens.

The world has become bleak and with every passing moment we have the ability to change it.  Maybe not for each other but at least for ourselves. To wake up each day and face another day is not about waking up and being grateful to be alive, it should be waking up  and looking forward to what the day brings and what you can do to make it epic.

There is love and light in all of us.  Some hide it far too well but I guarantee those same people when they hear a song play, see someone smile, or even remember a time when things were happy. They, in turn, will smile even from the dark corners of their heart and soul.  We all have it in us, we all have the love to give we just need to sacrifice our sadness and hatred and put what will make everyday a little more achievable at an excitable pace that we enjoy and love to gain our passion for living life back.

It all starts with you!

We are only human after all… lighten up a little and laugh a bit more.

XXX

Close your eyes and just listen… Block out every sound, every disturbance and just listen.  Let go of the chaos and madness around you and just listen.  Feel the rhythm move it’s way through your body, the beat connecting with your heart, thumping along as one.  Feel the tones ignite your soul and Dance.

Now listen to it again but read the lyrics…

“Short Change Hero”

I can’t see where you comin’ from
But I know just what you runnin’ from:
And what matters ain’t the “who’s baddest” but
The ones who stop you fallin’ from your ladder, baby

And you feel like you feelin’ now
And doin’ things just to please your crowd,
When I love you like the way I love you,
And I suffer, but I ain’t gonna cut you ’cause

This ain’t no place for no hero.
This ain’t no place for no better man.
This ain’t no place for no hero
To call “home.”

This ain’t no place for no hero.
This ain’t no place for no better man.
This ain’t no place for no hero
To call “home.”

Every time I close my eyes, I think,
I think about you inside,
And your mother, givin’ up on askin’ why –
Why you lie, and you cheat, and you try to make
A fool outta she…

I can’t see where you comin’ from,
But I know just what you’re runnin’ from.
And what matters ain’t the “who’s baddest,” but the
Ones who stop you fallin’ from your ladder, ’cause

[3x]
This ain’t no place for no hero.
This ain’t no place for no better man.
This ain’t no place for no hero
To call “home.”

 

Music feeds my mind, body and soul.  This song connected with my soul in such a intense rhythmic manner that I now know what it feels like for my soul to connect back, to dance back.  The first note when I first heard it inflamed my skin with goose bumps, I felt every unwanted emotion leave my body and let this song consume me.

Never have I heard a song that had this effect on me…

Thank you for introducing me to this song… You will remain with me forever within my soul.

XXX

So I am beyond anger and disappointment, just tired of how the opinion of others seems to not even a suggestion of an opinion but a “well I am giving you  my opinion and you better just do it or listen to me” … I mean what the hell is going on.  I don’t want your opinion on who I should be or shouldn’t be or what i am or not doing right.  I think at 40 I have the basics of right and wrong and exactly where I should be and what I should be doing.

I’m sorry I had no idea your name was Cindy Visser and that you wake up every morning and go to sleep every night living in her mind and know exactly what she wants.  I honestly have run out of time and patience and just been nice.

I’m in shock of all horrors when I was recently propositioned by a friend of mine who is married.  When I said no he freaked out… but not even a little freak out this was epic.  I had to block him from WhatsApp and Facebook and he somehow made it sound like I am wrong and giving up an opportunity of a life time with him and what am I thinking.  Or the best was… I don’t know what I want.   Ummmm, actually yes I do and having extra marital relations with someone who is married is not one of them and the worst of it all is that he knew I am seeing someone.  Which for me was even more disrespectful, so because your life is a f*&# up don’t take me down with you.

So I wondered to myself what is going on… maybe it is me.  Maybe I am giving off the wrong signals or  sending them messages in my sleep telling them I want them and yes it is OK for us to sleep together even though you married.  It just dawned on me I am just too damn friendly, and when the shit does hit the fan don’t have the filter to say “go to hell” or “go f*$# yourself” no I just laugh and shrug it off and it seems its another move I have made to make them think I want this.

It’s sad really, because the one thing we do lack is a smile and sense of humour in this dark world we live in.  I am open minded and fun and always going to laugh at your stupid random jokes even though you’re not funny.  Why? because its just who I am and don’t want you to feel like a prat when no one else is laughing.  But hell no I am in no way desperate to sleep with a married man or any other man unless I actually tell you I am interested.  FFS I am confident enough that I will let you know, I don’t hide behind comments and flirts in the hope you know.  If I am friendly it is genuinely because I like your company and enjoy your jokes.  I have a warped mind, I swear a lot… and tend to let things come out my head while talking without thinking, now I know how Bridget Jones felt.  Its me, I’m not going to be anything other then me.

Unfortunately though and yes quite sad indeed but being this happy (fake smile) is not actually making me happy and opening more of those doors that quiet frankly would rather leave bolted tightly shut.  Too many outside issues and invitations that just lead to more complications and retarded situations that I never asked for in the first place.

So chin up and eyes front and yes smile on my face, while I loom in the darkness just observing.  Its safer its easier and it sure is well helps dealing with egotistical people who think they know how to handle every situation that i have been in and who can apparently write a book on how to live my life.

So my holiday from unicorns, sparkles and fairy dust has begun and looking forward to the darkness, the dragons and all things bleak.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So no from now on I will not play well with others.  Yes I may not splash it all over social media that I am in a relationship, but why should I?  Ask me and I will tell you and anyone who has I have very much informed them I am involved.

This rant was awesome… I feel instantly elated I got it all out there and once again proves being nasty, bratty and full of shit is the way to be these days because no one deserves a smile or a little niceness along the way.

XXX

Mrs Nice Girl has left the building…